Bryce Harper is 19 years old. That explains why he has a dog named Swag, a truck that’s one American flag decal short of a Toby Keith wet dream and a patchy haircut that looks like what would happen if you attacked Rod Blagojevich with a weed whacker.
It also explains why, just eight games into his major league career, he’s quickly becoming the most polarizing player in baseball.
Harper’s biggest problem is that his reputation preceded him, his tantrums and taunts RSVP-ing to the majors before he made his April 28 debut. He was the guy who smudged his eyeblack down onto his cheekbones, the guy who cost his team a National Junior College World Series after an ejection and suspension, the one who blew a kiss to an opposing Single-A pitcher as he jogged around the bases. And let’s face it, his name is Bryce. BRYCE. That could only be more irritating if his parents had gone with EdHardyNickelbackCrocs.