Because this just does not happen. Cannot happen. A 200-1 outsider at the start of the week – you could even get 500-1 with a couple of bookies, apparently – and a man with one of the most dismal records in major championships comes to the home of golf to become the most surprising St Andrews champion in half a century. No, make that ever.
Ah, but he did not just win. He demolished the field in the same devastating manner in which Tiger Woods, in his pomp, had a decade earlier. And he quite spoiled everyone's afternoon entertainment, turning the championship into a pretty dull procession, perhaps one of the least eventful climaxes in its 150-year history.